Old Fat-Ass Racing Team

For some damn-fool reason, I’ve decided to engage the talents of Sean Burke, a professional trainer and a very patient man, to aid me in attaining my cycling goals this year. As my old college roommate, Glen, says, “I’ve hired a conscience.”

You’d think it’d be pretty easy, considering my chief goal is “finish Six-Gap,” but the levels of laziness I can attain and the amount of mental effort I can expend to rationalize why I shouldn’t be riding are both high hurdles to clear. Luckily, Sean’s in San Diego and he’s not forced to contend with my lies first-hand. The email and online logs buffer him somewhat, else he’d be overcome.

The first two weeks, I actually tried to do what Sean says. This means I’ve been training. This also means I’ve been lurching around on a bicycle while wheezing and snorting and generally being a nuisance. Then, last week happened. I got in the hard workout, then everything simply fell apart. Exams, then sick kids, then sick me, then a weekend trip, then more sick. This has sucked. This means I’m wasting money, irritating my coach as well as myself.

This weekend will be the first test of the new me. I’m off to the Cheaha Challenge. A bit of a test, really, to see if what I’m doing is right and if September’s Six Gap will be better this year. More about this Monday.

I don’t normally post Youtube links, but this is Kenny, the King of Trick Riders.

I am just not sure if this guy is for-real or not, but there’s a plaintiveness in his expression and voice that leads me to believe he is. Someone must know something more about him and his $4500, nitrogen-tired Huffy 300 tall-bike.

Blue Line Century 2009
Rode Dave Northway’s fabulous Blue Line Century on Sunday. Well, I rode the metric part of it. It’s a well-supported charity ride north of Tallahassee, in the rolling hills of North Florida and South Georgia. All the proceeds go to the Police Unity Fund, so it was a few dollars well-spent to ride an area I generally ride anyway, but with a bit more food.

After several days of thunderstorms, Sunday was bright and clear and cold. I rolled out at 8am in a full jacket, instead of arm warmers and base layer. I am glad I did. Although the sun was out, once the coolness burned off the morning, the wind kicked up and made the ride a bit cool for comfort again. I don’t own much Pearl Izumi, but the wind shell I had was plenty to keep me comfortable while taking pulls into the teeth of the gale. I exaggerate a bit. It wasn’t quite a gale, but it wasn’t a pleasant summer zephyr, wafting aloft dreams and gulls, either.

Tara, Tyler, Marcus and I had a good ride, stopping most everywhere we could or wanted to. I overindulged in water and coffee, thus I was stopping a bit more frequently. This yielded the description of a new workout, the piss interval, wherein you repeatedly stop to pee, then chase your group. A bladder-control product was suggested. It was also strongly suggested that a liter of water and a 24-ounce “Supercharged” coffee from Circle K is not an appropriate pre-ride meal. As I was in-character, I wore the coveted Old Fart kit.

I rode the Moots with Mavic Cosmic Carbone Pro tubulars. It rode well. I was not surprised to see that I had not setup my SRM properly, so that it reported I was well within the power output range of a Tour de France contender. (Hey, I’m claiming it. Machines never lie.) Also, even thought the Cosmic Carbone is a stiff wheel, it is not stiff enough for a 230 pound Tour de France contender on a hill. Thus, they’re for sale. It appears the ability to flex the rear wheel so much that your speed sensor magnet disengages is not a benefit, even if it makes you appear to have massive legs and even more massive speed. Again, they’re for sale.

I saw a “rabbit” ahead of us as we turned onto 90, and, the ride almost done, took off after him. I was very happy to catch him and move off a minute or so. This was a big improvement over last year’s horrible bonk-fest slog over the hills on US 90. I won’t embarrass the guy, but suffice it to say he should have been embarrassed to have been overtaken by me. I mean–really.

We finished up the ride with three hours and change for about 60 miles, a nice easy pace for the early-season. It was great to get in a good ride with good friends. I’ll give it a month before they’re trying to blow my doors off on every ride, if only to escape the sight of me in the red Castelli bib.

Thanks, Dave and the local bacon for the great ride!

Cheaha Challenge
It seems I will be putting in an appearance at the Cheaha Challenge, a nice warmup to the Six Gap style century. Hopefully, Jamie will also be putting in an appearance (and a little bit of cash for gas and hotel room), as I have properly attempted to persuade him. You will want to come by and get his autograph, for sure. He is the world’s greatest cyclist and the only living relative of Mr. Clean. You will know him by his purple shorts. Be sure to comment on them.

See you there!

I am lazy. Thus, I have another list for you. Instead of numbering this one, I’m going to make it a sidebar-like entry, a sort of “USA Today” blog entry that simply vomits up useless factoids. I will probably elaborate at some point on all of them, but this gets the ball rolling and keeps my blog off the list of long-dead blog wannabes.

Sean Burke
Sean is a cycling coach. He’s my coach. You see, I’ve decided that I need some motivation when it comes to doing what’s right and good and useful in my cycling. Although I certainly know what’s right and good and useful, I’m too damned lazy to actually do it unless I’m spending money on it. Call it stupid, I call it motivation. Thus, I’m going to be bringing the pain this season, and all you Tallahassee cyclists can come out and experience it. Or, rather, you can sit back and watch me open up the whoop-ass and simply pour it on myself. Hey, just because I talk trash doesn’t mean I’m delusional.

Argonaut Cycles
Just what I needed, another bicycle. This one is custom for me, baby! After all those frames, I’ve got my size down and measured and cut into steel. This steel happens to be Columbus MAX, a hefty steel for the hefty Belgian steed. I’m thinking Paris-Roubaix. Check out those dropouts! Ben Farver is the shizzle for reals. Any ideas for the color?

Surly Pugsley
Took the Pug out for a ride last week and fell in love with it all over again. Why don’t I do more mountain biking? The Pugsley handles the North Florida sand pit with aplomb, floating across then disdainfully turning up its nose. Big roots, messy terrain—it’s all cake. Of course, it’s also battleship-heavy. It’s not Walmart-bike heavy—hey, nothing that heavy in my stable—but it’s no Superfly. But, then, who cares? I will simply squash any deriders beneath my massive treads.

Six Gap
Six Gap Century registration opened Monday. I registered Monday. No, there’s no particular honor in doing so. It’s certainly not a battleground for registration. I’m just excited. Well, actually, I’m scared out of my gourd. Six Gap is hard, damn hard. And I’m a fat, silly man to want to go back. Still, here I am, all registered-up and rarin’ to go. Throw this on top of the coaching and I should have a little more motivation this year.

Two-twenty-nine
That’s my current weight. Yes, not two thirty-anything, but two-twenty-nine. Point eight. I have a scale that shows tenths and the point eight is part of it. Still, it’s two-twenty…

Justin Spinelli
Justin is a bad ass racer boy who has opened Svelte Cycles. He knows his stuff. He “gets it” to quote a favorite from the online forum Velocipede Salon. I recommend all of you who want to “get it” too, go buy something from Justin. Maybe some wheels. Maybe you should just watch him tape bars. Yeah, that’s the stuff. Justin is aces.

Had the first OFFICIAL ride of daylight savings time today, only about 25 miles in the mid-morning. I had intended to get out a little earlier, but chronic disorganization has a way of striking me if I don’t get it all together the night before.

I even dressed for the occasion, with race wheels and full Old Fart kit. I should probably get a photo of that.

Although there’s still a bit of brown, the North Florida canopy roads were perfect. It won’t be long before they’re yellow-green with new growth and TONS of pollen.

The wind was a bit stiff in places, but the temperatures were definitely warmer. A few flowers are beating the April rush…

My ride was, unfortunately, a solo. My great mood only tempered by the idea of my kids at home with strep throat. Thus, only a short one today before heading home to help the wife.

Oh, I’ve updated my 2009 Spring Fling Sale page with some new info! Check it out and buy something!

Sitting here, ready to blog, and like most bloggers, I don’t really have anything to say. I’ll touch on a few things:

Random List of Awesomeness
1. Richard Sachs
Although I don’t know him know him, I’ve been acquainted with ERichie for a couple of years, and have become a little more so since becoming one of his final new customers last Summer. Since that time, he’s been nothing if not responsive, approachable, and generally cool, even when faced with my abominable Don Rickles imitation last week. (Thanks for the hat, by the way.) The guy is just too cool and laden with the conviction and courage to build bikes and support cycling. I’m proud to know him even in the creepy-Internet-groupie-way that I do. (Richard Sachs Cycles)

2. Bike fitters
I had two bike fittings this week; one from Ed at Sunshine Cycles, and one from Roger at Higher Ground (my favorite LBS). Both of them are certified–Ed by Serotta and Roger by Specialized. Both of them spent way too much time with me and didn’t charge me nearly enough. (You KNOW I’m a pain in the ass. How do they make money at this?) I highly recommend both of them for some real insight into your cycling position, even if you’ve been riding twenty years and think you know everything. Both provided some ideas that were worth more than the price of admission. Take your bike and go ride it for them. They will touch you and ask you weird questions. You’ll willbe a much happier cyclist afterward.

3. Ben Farver and Argonaut Cycles
Ben has a nice set of Columbus MAX tubes that he’s sticking together for me in some resemblance to a bicycle. And yes, given my geometry requirements, that’s an accurate description. Ben’s is young and far cooler than I can ever hope to be, but he’s making my giant-butt a kick-butt bike. I told him I to “Think Ardennes. Think shitty weather and even shittier roads.” He thought that was a great idea, which, considering my shape, casts some doubt to his sanity. Still, he’s too cool to say I’m crazy and to tell me to go get a recumbent. Check out his stuff and buy something too-cool for you, too.


To quote a Serotta-forum reader, “Looks like those stays were run over by the UPS truck.”

So, I’ve made a point of following this year’s Tour of California. Watching pro cycling motivates me to ride more, myself, and the racing this year has certainly been motivational.

Cases in point:

1. Cancellara dominates the Prologue. Naturally, Fabian Cancellara is a multiple world champion in time trial. If there’s someone who’s going to have pretty even odds to win a time trial, this is the guy. Still, watching his form on the bike–head up, smooth, powerful pedaling all the way down the course–it’s a graduate class on the proper approach to the time trial. Compare this to say, certain Americans who seem determined to ride while looking at their cycling computer, giant wind-resistant helmet fin a-flying in the air like some sort of wheeled shark. Bobbing and weaving, standing on the pedals, lurching around: these are not the hallmarks of a time trialist. Lance does it remarkably well. Levi is pretty darn good, too. Cancellara is among the best I’ve ever seen.

2. Mancebo’s flyer and subsequent win in Stage 1 was amazing, although I feel his sprint may have been won more on his companions’ bad tactics and poor attention-span than his “awesome sprinting.” If you watch that footage again, you can see Nibali and Van de Walle looking at each other while Mancebo drifts right and takes off. They responded VERY slowly and subsequently lost the stage.

3. Levi took it to the boys in Stage 2. His attack up Bonny Doon (although our commentators called it “Donny Boon” more than once) was spectacular, and displayed a dominance rare in early season racing under such conditions. Has the Tour of Flanders seen this kind of hammering? Although it’s hard to tell from the VS coverage, it seemed as Levi bridged the gap and subsequently left them as though they were standing still. A pretty remarkable sort of ride, and I was only disappointed that he didn’t contest the sprint against Peterson. Peterson has to be happy to have held on to Levi to the end. Nipping him for the win must seem like a gift, no matter how hard he struggled to stay with him.

4. Thor had a great lead out in Stage 3. It seemed as though the other teams weren’t even in the game, and they looked like a Cat 4 sprint on a Sunday morning rather than the world’s preeminent teams in a stage race. Cervelo led the final couple of kilometers with a 3-man train, powering Thor Hushovd straight to his first win of the season. Cavendish and Freire were hard to find in the crowd. And where was Boonen!? Tornado Tom was back in the crowd proper, in 13th place. Comments have been made about the bad weather, but Boonen is from Belgium; don’t they have the whole “bad spring weather” thing pretty much down by now? Maybe he should move back home from Monaco. Ah, well. Such is racing. Still, it was pretty disappointing for this Boonen fan. Still, Thor was impressive, and it’s hard not to like a sprinter named Thor.

Some pretty amazing stuff, to say the least. I’m glad VS is sticking with the ToC and giving us coverage that certainly rivals that of the TdF coverage of the past few years. I wish the highlights show at 11pm had a bit more coverage of the breakaways early in the stages, some more climbing, and a bit of descending. It seems they’re sticking with the roll-out, a few highlights, then the last 15 mins as a script. This may be interesting to the novice viewer, but we cyclists are being driven batty by the omissions. In addition, technical issues have kept some of the best highlights off television, but the photography coming out of California is certainly top notch. Check out Pez or Cycling News or Velo News to check out some of the stuff you’re missing on the 11pm show.

More than friend has recited some of the commercials we’re seeing…over and over and over and over again. I tell them to look past the negative parts of the advertising–particularly the incessant cut-aways–and look instead at the quality of advertising that the ToC has drawn. It’s important that VS is receiving valuable commercial consideration for the event, which makes the volume of cycling coverage rise in the US. More coverage, more interest, more bikes. It may suck to have to watch it (see what Fatty, whose wife Susan (WIN!) says about these horrible cancer commercials over at Fat Cyclist), but it’s good in the long run. Besides, you can always use a DVR.

So, the ToC has me pretty stoked about cycling this year. That’s a pretty good thing in February, when I spend most of my time in the weight room or reading about cycling rather than doing it. After the “meh” of the past couple of years, I might consider actually consider purchasing the race wrap-up DVD for this one.

You know the guy who shows up to a club ride on an expensive bike, yet gets shelled in the first hour? The guy with carbon wheels and a beer gut? Yeah, that was me on today’s ride.

February isn’t a good month for many people. The winter doldrums have just passed here in Florida, and people are starting to show up for rides. Fitness is low, but the excitement for the new season is palpable. Those few who have spent the winter cross training or stuck indoors on a trainer–or those who never stopped riding–are out and dominating the rides.

I showed up on this today:

This is my “regular” ride, a Moots Compact SL. She’s my favorite bike and the one I would keep if I could only own one bicycle. Normally she’s decked out in white DT Swiss 1850s, but I figured I’d toss on the Mavic carbon clinchers–albeit heavy carbon clinchers (aluminum rim with a carbon fairing)–just to play with them.

I assumed I’d probably get some grief about them, and sure enough, the comment came, “You had to bring your carbon wheels for this ride?” It doesn’t matter that these things weigh more than the aluminum clinchers the commenter was riding, I was riding carbon wheels on a club ride. This is a serious faux-pas, which immediately lumps you into the poseur category. In this case, it was a well-deserved categorization.

The ride started pretty well, but a few of the hard cases pushed the tempo quite a bit about 10 miles out. If you were on the ride, you may well argue that it wasn’t so much pushing as it was simply riding. However, in my addled brain, it was pushing. It was damned near attacking, in fact. Of course, I suck, so what do I know? A few rolling hills at tempo and I was out the back, looking for the second group. Luckily, they didn’t catch me until I stopped for water, which probably makes it easier to pass off as something other than simple crappy riding. However, I was now riding a carbon/Ti bike in the midst of the helmet-mirror and windbreaker crowd. One guy–who was amazingly strong by the way–was even riding in a t-shirt and running shoes. Running shoes.

Running shoes.

So, Mr. Tour de France-wannabe on his super rig was now firmly in poseur territory. Wallowing in it. Reveling in his mediocrity on his expensive bike. Luckily, no one was talking much. Only a comment about my “extra poundage” and my Fat Cyclist jersey (WIN SUSAN!) made it by. I looked good in photographs, I’m sure. I turned off at Crump Road and headed for home, as I had ridden from home to the ride start. It was blessed relief.

Still, I’ll probably do it again. I likes me some carbon wheels.

Moral: Spend less, ride more.

EDIT: I should probably mention that this was written to get around posting issues on a forum. Even though the particular rules of this forum are pretty loose as far as far as adult humor is concerned, this was considered “odd” by one of the moderators, who apparently neglected to read the entire thread wherein I was requested to “give my best Don Rickles” by the target of these quips. Since I’m sucking all the fun and humor out of them, I might as well get an apology out of the way, too. I really like Richie. He’s a great guy and he builds great bikes.

Richie says he’s stopped taking orders, but I don’t think he’s told his boyfriend.

Nah, I don’t think he’s gay, but that earring he wears is the result of an accident with a box of headtube badges and a gerbil. And I don’t think that’s the only big lug he’s ever cut.

Really, listen closely to his voice on the DVD. Who knew his idea of “inert gas” was strictly helium?

He’d have had a better cross season if he could’ve figured out how to pedal faster with an erection.

#2 Amazon Kindle

Jeff Bezos was in New York today, pumping up excitement for the new electronic book from Amazon, the Kindle 2. I have a Kindle, and unlike so many first-adopters, I absolutely love the thing. I was happy to see the Kindle 2 announcement, and I’ve already paid for the new one.

I make no secret of my love of bicycles, and even less of a secret of my love of books. When Jenny and I built our house, one of my specifications was room for a library. Unfortunately at the time, I had little idea of just how much space books will take up when you’re completely unable to separate from a single volume. As I frequently tell people, I subscribe to the idea of “cultural memory.” If you know where the book is, even if you haven’t read it, you have the knowledge. This excuses my clutter in some small way, in my mind. Still, Jenny just won’t buy it.

The Kindle addresses the clutter issue very well. “Disposable” volumes like textbooks and technical books only take up memory space, not shelf space. When you’re done with a volume, you can just delete it or move it to an SD card. You can even re-download it later from Amazon if you decide your deletion was in error. In this way, you end up only committing to the hard copy of certain, special books, and you don’t waste valuable shelf space with something you should give away or sell, but just can’t get around to doing so. In addition, I receive three newspaper subscriptions wirelessly every morning, directly to my Kindle via Amazon’s Whispernet. There are never unread issues taking up space by the bed or on my desk, just waiting for the reading that I am “going to do” but somehow never do. I may still be wasting money on the newspaper, but I’m not wasting trees or space trying to house the waste itself. Even some magazines are available, though the Kindle really shines with copy-heavy magazines as its photo capabilities are limited without color. Thus, the Kindle is perfect for the pack-rat. They should give away the things on Clean House.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m in the Mathematics department at FSU as an old-fart undergraduate. As such, I need a lot of books to supplement my reading with examples and different forms of explanation. With a 4Gb SD card, I can hold a pile of textbooks for reference, and many classic tomes are readily available–cheaply in many cases–through Amazon. Certain popular textbooks still cost a premium, but even so, the costs are generally a few percent lower than the hardback edition. The Kindle is perfect for the student who wants to carry a bunch of books around, even if he doesn’t actually want to carry the books around. (I should mention the rumor that some colleges are pressing for the use of Kindles in the classroom for exactly this reason. Imagine having your entire 4 years of textbooks available in a single, small volume–pretty nice, eh? Though it does mess up the whole used-book cycle.)

The screen flicker that occurs between pages really isn’t an issue for me, although I could see how it could be annoying, especially if you are the sort who fixates easily. The button placement and the cover are far more irritating issues. The buttons extend to the very edge of the device on the sides and along the edge taking up most of the side. This makes them far too easy to mis-press, especially if you’re trying to pick up the Kindle as it lies flat on a tabletop. To some extent, keeping the Kindle in its case rectifies this issue, but the Kindle doesn’t like to stay in its case. It relies on small plastic detent in the back of the Kindle battery cover which sorta-mates with a small clip in the case. Two loose leatherette loops hang over the corners of the Kindle on one side with the intention of applying enough pressure against the detent that the clip can hold the Kindle in. This must only work in theory, because unless you’re careful, the case actually increases the likelihood that your Kindle will abruptly fall to the ground. Luckily, they supplied an elastic binder to keep the case closed when you’re not reading. Kindle 2 seems to address both these issues with shorter buttons and special hinges to retain it in its case.

The overall profile of the new Kindle promises to be thinner yet wider. The original Kindle doesn’t bother me a bit. It’s the right size to resemble a large paperback, though it’s certainly thinner. The original Kindle had a bit of space, and was well-expandable with an SD card (mine has 4Gb). The Kindle 2 will have 1.4 Gb of usable space built in, but no expandability. This seems like a mixed blessing as it forces the user to rely on Amazon directly to maintain backups.

I’ve never used the Kindle’s MP3 capability and I’m pretty certain I’ll use the new Kindle’s text-to-speech capability even less. The decision to include MP3 capability in a limited memory device befuddles me, but then I wasn’t an iPod early-adopter, as I waited until they were big enough to hold EVERYTHING before I bought one.

The lack of a back light is one of the sticking points many have for the Kindle. I’m not too disappointed that neither the original nor the new Kindle has one. I don’t particularly care to read back-lit screens due to eye strain. Additionally, such a light would certainly have negative consequences on the battery life. If you’re going to do a lot of on-plane or in-bed-with-sleeping-spouse reading, this may be important to you. I’d recommend a Lightwedge for the Kindle, though I’d not go so far as to recommend the competing Sony reader which is back-lit.

The original Kindle relies on a scroll wheel and an odd little side-screen which contains only a cursor. You scroll the cursor down the screen to select lines on the left, in the main screen. It’s a weird throwback to some early time, to be sure, but it works well enough for a device that is really meant to be a book. The new Kindle promises a joystick which operates on the main screen proper. It’s not the magic of a touch-screen, but again, for a book, it’s not a terrible solution. I don’t find myself using the Kindle for much past reading and a few notes; I never use the web functionality outside Whispernet for orders and fulfillment. If you want an all-in-one, don’t get a Kindle and expect it to be a good browser; get an iPhone. This criticism extends to the keyboard as well. It works. Don’t expect magic.

The real strength of the Kindle lies in Amazon’s fulfillment of book orders. Primarily, the Kindle relies on a cellular product called Whispernet to send and receive orders wirelessly. The cost of this service is built into the price of the Kindle and the books themselves. Ordering is as simple as browsing and selecting from the Kindle itself, although one-click payment setup from a PC is required to activate your account. The market saturation of Whispernet seems pretty good, roughly following the availability of higher-end cellular services. In other words, serious boondocks might not be Whispernet capable, but you’ll have no problems around most towns, any cities in the US, and Interstate and major highways. Between Tallahassee and Cairo, Georgia, I have had no issues whatsoever. The use of the built-in cellular modem negatively affects battery life, but it can be turned off independently of the device with another switch on the rear. Without the engaged modem, the battery life of the device extends to several days of serious reading. Still, if you want your newspaper, you’re going to have to turn it on occasionally. Otherwise, you have to rely on the Kindle’s USB connection–a feature I’ve never used. The worst part of this fulfillment scheme is the amount of money you’ll spend buying books. Even then, this is tempered by the ability to download sample chapters to the device.

Non-Kindle books can be uploaded to the device through Amazon or the USB connection. Unfortunately, Amazon saw this possibility and built-in a small charge to cover conversion and delivery of these “outlaw” books through Whispernet. Even so, the charge is minimal and the ease of Whispernet use really makes it a non-issue. Extended converters are available from non-Amazon sources, though I’ve had little exposure to them.

To summarize, the Kindle is awesome. It could be better (a la the sturdiness, back light, and touch-screen of the Sony E-Reader), but its fulfillment method makes it the best attempt at an electronic book to date. Amazon has stuff to read, and the Kindle works plenty well enough to read it.